Welcome to the United States of Sporting Events.

Last night I went to an indoor Lacrosse game, Buffalo Bandits vs. NY Titans. Unfortunately, the Bandits lost even after putting up a great fight. The bigger shock for me was that I completely and thoroughly enjoyed every second of it - this is a shock because I'm usually not a sports kind of guy. Maybe this is because in England for some stupid reasons there are no cheerleaders.

I've only ever been to a few sports games before, and certainly nothing this big or televised. I don't know the rules for Lacrosse, at all. Even after my friend Dan explained a few to me. Although there didn't seem to be that many - clearly evident from the gloriously gladiatorial game play. But I found myself hooked on every second, so much so that I forgot I was holding a pint of beer when the Bandits equalized their second goal in the first quarter, which nearly resulted in me bathing a large number of people in over-priced alcohol during my celebration.

My only real explanation of why I enjoyed it so much was that the U.S. can do sports like nothing else; every part of the game and stadium was geared towards audience satisfaction. I loved it; the huge stadium with its dangerous over hanging balconies, the 100" TV's suspended above centre field, the bright primary colours of the arena building decor the violence inherent in the game itself and of course the cheerleaders.

Now, here's my issue; parents are supposedly worried about their darling little girls becoming objectified and seen as pretty faces rather than real people. And then they let them join a cheerleading squad - admittedly I was disappointed with the decency of the Bandits' cheerleaders but the Titans' girls definitely made up for it, wearing a belt and half a square foot of cloth. There were girls on the Bandits' squad that can't have been more than 8, which was worrying for a whole different reason, but apparently their parents were all for their objectification.

Not that I'm complaining. Certainly not. Except about the 8 year olds.

Back to the issue; the entire experience was thoroughly enjoyable, even for a poor foreigner like me who had no real idea what was going on, despite the explanations of the nearby crowd, especially the blond behind me who believed herself to be too manly. Clearly the girl had never looked in a mirror because she clearly displayed a good example of feminine physicality - so what if she liked beer and sports? That's not really a problem. At least she didn't obsess over shoes.

I enjoyed the experience so much that I got a Bandits' jersey and I'm going again as soon as possible. If I happen to accidentally run into some cheerleaders, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. As long as they aren't 8 years old, as having me run into them could quite possibly lead to serious bodily harm.