Religiously musical

Now before I start, I want to make this clear - I understand there is a time and a place for every type of music. Before I continue, readers should understand this - I am still trying to find a suitable time and/or place for amateur emo lyrics.

My taste in music is far from being beyond criticism; anyone who sits next to me on the bus will tell you I'm probably crazy. Dragonforce/Cascada/ACDC/Lordi/Basshunter/Leonard Cohen isn't an average play list, I know, and it's hard to find something that escapes the title 'indie rock' or 'hip hop' that is in fact not either of these. I am not trying to be non-comformist - to do that apparently I'd have to listen to these genres - I just honestly do not like these genres.

Music is as close to peoples hearts as religion. You tell someone that their favourite artist is about as talented as an epileptic skunk on crack and they'll probably try to burn you - unless their idol is someone like Amy Winehouse who is an epileptic skunk on crack, albeit one with a good singing voice. At least, she had.

My point is that all music is appreciated by some people. Sub-cultures develop for a reason and, although I hate to say it, I'm sure there's a reason for emo music being maintained. Quite why I have yet to discover; if emo's goal in life is hating it so much it drives them to suicide how many of them can there be? Left, I mean. Surely they'll eventually wipe themselves out? Then where will emo bands be?

Maybe it's a global conspiracy. Maybe emo bands sing about almost killing yourselves so that their fan base never actually kills itself and their never left without a job. If that's the case, I cry out to all those emo kids out there who are having their dreams curtailed by their supposed idols: "FIGHT THE POWER! LIVE YOUR DREAM! KILL YOURSELVES!!"

I'm going to go play emo music to my lawn now in the hope it will cut itself. That's about the only useful application i can find. Maybe it would help at hairdressers too.