Cinnamon Bagels: Food of the Future

As is obvious, I haven't written anything here for awhile.

This mainly due to stress, hatred, nausea, maniacal laughing, hysterical sopping, infrequent tantrums and violent out bursts of undirected anger caused my dissertation. It's done now, but I'm still haunted by it; I managed to misprint the damn thing about 4 times so now I have four imperfect copies of my dissertation that I poured blood and sweat and hate-filled dedication into sitting on my desk staring at me smugly, knowing it's ruined my life. This must be what some corporate CEO's feel when they have a bad day and look down at their desks to see a picture of their family. Only I can burn my dissertation.

I've been drunk for the last two days. It was fun but I'm now enjoying sobriety and the ability to eat normal food it brings - hence the cinnamon bagels. Anyone who doesn't like them is never getting into Heaven, period. I can still be friends with them, but I'll always pity them slightly. If you haven't tried them, go do it now. And if you don't like them, don't pretend you do and eat on the vain hope you'll still get into Heaven; God knows if you don't like them already. And He will judge you as have I.

Ahem. Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about was real life. No, as a student for al my adult life I've never really been involved in this strange and weird thing, but from my graduated friends' experiences its horrible. So, I'm going to try to find the good bits in it;

1) Income. Like money, but its a frequent injection that you don't have to pay back. Yes, you need a job and they can be terrible but this is a list of good things.
2) The ability not to have to live with your parents (related to income). Again, this is also a cost but the benefits far out-weigh the costs.
3) You meet new people. Sure, maybe in a business manner but still. New people.
4) I won't be getting more money off the government. This could be seen as a con, but the loan repayment interest rate is atrocious and doesn't change. Seriously, check it out; it's extortion of the first order. The 'inflation' incremental increase bears no relevance to the actual rate of inflation and the interest rate that 'doesn't exist' actually does. Day light robbery.
5) That's about it.

But, in my opinion that's enough. People with jobs kinda forget what it's like not to have any money coming in at all. It makes me want to cry sometimes and I would, except that my tear ducts fell out when I was fifteen and I can no longer cry in the normal sense of the word. Instead I break things.

David Cameron (and Nick Clegg, I suppose, although it wasn't part of his manifesto) has promised to sort out the student loan issue - without mentioning what part of the student loan was an issue, so this could be interesting - and has given himself an extra year for his term of office so he can make this happen, as well as other things. Like removing Gordon Brown's term of service from the official history books forever. I hope he can do it - I actually voted him in. Yes, I personally voted 500,000 times for David Cameron. That's not true, but I did vote for him in the hope he could do 20% of what he promised. And so that Gordon Brown wouldn't be in office again.

I'd also like him to bring down housing prices so I can get my own house sooner. I guess I could always go on benefits but that just...urgh...hurts my soul to think about. At least I wouldn't have to get food stamps.

Cameron should also cure cancer, solve the AIDS issue, make me tea once a week within an hour of me asking and lower the cost of cinnamon bagels, based on his statement that he would "make Britain and the world a better place." We'll see how he does. In the mean time, I have to prepare to blitz my last exam ever (with luck). Wish me luck, or alternatively give me a job.